Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
Year: 2023
Director: Steven Caple Jr.
Starring: Peter Cullen, Pete Davidson, Peter Dinklage, Dominique Fishback, Ron Perlman & Anthony Ramos
Runtime: 127 mins
BBFC: 12
Published: 12/06/23
Director: Steven Caple Jr.
Starring: Peter Cullen, Pete Davidson, Peter Dinklage, Dominique Fishback, Ron Perlman & Anthony Ramos
Runtime: 127 mins
BBFC: 12
Published: 12/06/23
It’s no secret that the Michael Bay Transformers films are a guilty pleasure of mine. I won’t argue with the fact that they’re poorly written, poorly acted, often culturally insensitive and outrageously sexist, yet there’s something that fills me with childlike glee about seeing those gorgeously rendered robots just beat the crap out of each other. 2018’s Bumblebee (directed by Travis Knight) was considered by many to be a significant improvement over the Michael Bay pentology, and whilst I did enjoy the film I do feel it lacked that Bay spectacle that I find so appealing. A whole five years later we now have Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, a sequel to Bumblebee and prequel to the original Transformers film (kind of, I’ll get to that in a bit). Dean it mix the best of both worlds? Disappointingly, no.
It’s 1994 and ex-military electronics whizz Noah (Anthony Ramos) is struggling to get together enough cash to pay for his younger brother Kris’ (Dean Scott Vasquez) medical bills. When he tries to steal a car as part of a carjacking job he’s involved with, Noah soon finds himself at the mercy of the Autobots, a group of mechanoid aliens who have long been stranded on Earth.
The recent discovery of a ‘transwarp key’ by archaeologist Elena (Dominique Fishback) means the Autobots may finally be able to return home, but it has also attracted the attention of Scourge (Peter Dinklage), who plans to use the key to open a portal for his master Unicron (Colman Domingo), devourer of planets. With the help of the Maximals, a race of beast-like transformers, the Autobots, Elena, and Noah must stop Scourge at all costs.
It’s 1994 and ex-military electronics whizz Noah (Anthony Ramos) is struggling to get together enough cash to pay for his younger brother Kris’ (Dean Scott Vasquez) medical bills. When he tries to steal a car as part of a carjacking job he’s involved with, Noah soon finds himself at the mercy of the Autobots, a group of mechanoid aliens who have long been stranded on Earth.
The recent discovery of a ‘transwarp key’ by archaeologist Elena (Dominique Fishback) means the Autobots may finally be able to return home, but it has also attracted the attention of Scourge (Peter Dinklage), who plans to use the key to open a portal for his master Unicron (Colman Domingo), devourer of planets. With the help of the Maximals, a race of beast-like transformers, the Autobots, Elena, and Noah must stop Scourge at all costs.
Transformers film plots are basically all the same when you get down to it. There’s a thing that the good Transformers and the bad Transformers both want, and the good Transformers ally with humans to acquire that thing, often leading to a ‘your princess is in another castle’ style fetch quest that is punctuated by crazy robot action…and along the way the robots learn that humans aren’t so bad after all, and the humans learn…well nothing usually.
Rise of the Beasts checks all of those boxes, but it does so with absolutely no personality. Say what you will about the Bay films, at least they knew what’s they were, mindless CGI brawls with as many exploitative shots of women and explosions as Bay could buy.
Knight’s Bumblebee stripped out all the crude elements for a film that was surprisingly moving at times, putting the human element really at the forefront of the story. But Rise of the Beasts attempts to do both and neither of them very well.
The human story of Noah and his brother is swiftly forgotten about after the Transformers show up and not mentioned again until the end of the film, and the robot brawls are lacking that epic scale and sheer brain melting stupidity from Bay’s films.
To add insult to injury the film is a ‘sequel’ to Bumblebee whilst only making the most fleeting of mentions that the events of that film even happened. But crucially, Rise of the Beasts is supposed to be a prequel to 2007’s Transformers, and by extension every film through to 2017’s The Last Knight. The problem is that it frequently contradicts established lore, and effectively retcons The Last Night by including Unicron (which isn’t exactly the worst thing because The Last Knight sucks, but at least be consistent). The Transformers films aren’t exactly rich with story at the best of times, so for Rise of the Beasts to just ignore everything that it’s supposed to be building up to just do it’s own thing is both incredibly confusing but also typical of the live-action Transformers films.
Rise of the Beasts checks all of those boxes, but it does so with absolutely no personality. Say what you will about the Bay films, at least they knew what’s they were, mindless CGI brawls with as many exploitative shots of women and explosions as Bay could buy.
Knight’s Bumblebee stripped out all the crude elements for a film that was surprisingly moving at times, putting the human element really at the forefront of the story. But Rise of the Beasts attempts to do both and neither of them very well.
The human story of Noah and his brother is swiftly forgotten about after the Transformers show up and not mentioned again until the end of the film, and the robot brawls are lacking that epic scale and sheer brain melting stupidity from Bay’s films.
To add insult to injury the film is a ‘sequel’ to Bumblebee whilst only making the most fleeting of mentions that the events of that film even happened. But crucially, Rise of the Beasts is supposed to be a prequel to 2007’s Transformers, and by extension every film through to 2017’s The Last Knight. The problem is that it frequently contradicts established lore, and effectively retcons The Last Night by including Unicron (which isn’t exactly the worst thing because The Last Knight sucks, but at least be consistent). The Transformers films aren’t exactly rich with story at the best of times, so for Rise of the Beasts to just ignore everything that it’s supposed to be building up to just do it’s own thing is both incredibly confusing but also typical of the live-action Transformers films.
I didn’t care for the humans, and the robot fights were dull. So what about the visual effects and sound design, because credit where it’s due the Transformers films have always delivered top of the line CGI and some incredibly impressive sound design. But Rise of the Beasts even underperforms here. Some Transformers such as Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) look great, with complex design and real-time reflective metal bodywork. But then you get the Maximals who all look like plastic, cheap and lacking the same level of detail. You’d think that more focus would have been placed on the Maximals seeing how they’re what’s going to be putting bums in seats, but they feel like an afterthought.
The sound design was also kind of bad. Almost all the sound was mixed to come from the front, with the cinemas side and rear speakers having little to nothing coming through them. It’s lazy, and it sounds rubbish, not to mention a lot of the dialogue from the Transformers was so heavily modified that it just sounded distorted a lot of the time.
Whilst my review has been overwhelmingly negative, this is surprisingly not the worst Transformers film. I’d still rate it higher than Revenge of the Fallen and The Last Knight, but I don’t think there’s much that could possibly sink that low so it’s not much of an achievement.
The action might entertain pre-teens when it happens, but the rest of the time they’ll be bored to tears. Adults will be either so confused at the meaningless jargon that’s being shouted all the time, or annoyed that it’s contradicting established lore. Either way, I wouldn’t recommend seeking out Rise of the Beasts, if anything, I think the franchise should have had the brakes pulled on it a decade ago, and this is proof that there really isn’t anything worthwhile left in the tank.
The sound design was also kind of bad. Almost all the sound was mixed to come from the front, with the cinemas side and rear speakers having little to nothing coming through them. It’s lazy, and it sounds rubbish, not to mention a lot of the dialogue from the Transformers was so heavily modified that it just sounded distorted a lot of the time.
Whilst my review has been overwhelmingly negative, this is surprisingly not the worst Transformers film. I’d still rate it higher than Revenge of the Fallen and The Last Knight, but I don’t think there’s much that could possibly sink that low so it’s not much of an achievement.
The action might entertain pre-teens when it happens, but the rest of the time they’ll be bored to tears. Adults will be either so confused at the meaningless jargon that’s being shouted all the time, or annoyed that it’s contradicting established lore. Either way, I wouldn’t recommend seeking out Rise of the Beasts, if anything, I think the franchise should have had the brakes pulled on it a decade ago, and this is proof that there really isn’t anything worthwhile left in the tank.