Transformers
Year: 2007
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Josh Duhamel, Shia LeBouf, Megan Fox & John Turturro
Runtime: 144 mins
BBFC: 12
Published: 23/07/20
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Josh Duhamel, Shia LeBouf, Megan Fox & John Turturro
Runtime: 144 mins
BBFC: 12
Published: 23/07/20
I generally like to think I have pretty good taste in films. I look at each and every component of the makeup of the finished product and determine how good or bad each aspect is and come to a conclusion based on those various factors. Some are more important than others, such as a good story, or excellent cinematography, but a film that majorly falls flat in at least one area is likely to suffer overall for its errors.
But then there are the Michael Bay Transformers films. I don’t know what it is because I know these films are terrible, but I love them so much. They are my guilty pleasure films that even though sometimes I’m genuinely watching through my fingers at how terrible they are, I can’t help but be utterly mesmerised by how incredible they are.
2007’s Transformers follows Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBouf) who is contacted by sentient machines from the planet Cybertron. Some of the machines, the Decepticons, want to gain information from Sam regarding the location of their leader, Megatron, by any means necessary. The other machines, the Autobots, want to stop the Decepticons from reviving Megatron and causing harm to the human race.
It’s an extremely straightforward plot for a film that’s two and a half hours long. But something these Transformers films do love to do is stuff themselves to bursting point with scenes that add nothing to the plot, ‘comedy’ scenes that are so overtly sexist or racist that I’m surprised it could even fly in 2007, and so many gratuitous body-shots of Megan Fox for the horny teenage boys. There will also usually be very long action sequences for absolutely no reason, and that resolve nothing, with no casualties on either side; but it’s just the film giving you your regular 10-minute dosage of explosions in case you stopped paying attention.
But then there are the Michael Bay Transformers films. I don’t know what it is because I know these films are terrible, but I love them so much. They are my guilty pleasure films that even though sometimes I’m genuinely watching through my fingers at how terrible they are, I can’t help but be utterly mesmerised by how incredible they are.
2007’s Transformers follows Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBouf) who is contacted by sentient machines from the planet Cybertron. Some of the machines, the Decepticons, want to gain information from Sam regarding the location of their leader, Megatron, by any means necessary. The other machines, the Autobots, want to stop the Decepticons from reviving Megatron and causing harm to the human race.
It’s an extremely straightforward plot for a film that’s two and a half hours long. But something these Transformers films do love to do is stuff themselves to bursting point with scenes that add nothing to the plot, ‘comedy’ scenes that are so overtly sexist or racist that I’m surprised it could even fly in 2007, and so many gratuitous body-shots of Megan Fox for the horny teenage boys. There will also usually be very long action sequences for absolutely no reason, and that resolve nothing, with no casualties on either side; but it’s just the film giving you your regular 10-minute dosage of explosions in case you stopped paying attention.
I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of any of the actors in pretty much any of the Transformers films, and almost all of them showcase some of the worst performances of their career. Shia LeBouf does a great job of playing what he would perceive a normal teenage boy to be, which is sufficient to say a complete creep and has some serious issues that clearly need to be worked out. Megan Fox is just set dressing; I get the feeling she was trying to make a halfway decent start to her career with these films, but the script literally required nothing from her other than to have a tanned skinny body and shiny lip-gloss. The other human side characters include a group of soldiers stationed in Iraq that are literally only there to be patriotic and shoot guns. There are also some sound analyst people who are working for the government to work out what the machines are, and there’s a woman in the group who I feel was being so self-aware of how she was being undermined by the script because she was a woman that her performance went completely over Bay’s head and ended up in the film anyway. There’s also a whole bunch of racial stereotypes in there who literally do nothing other than shout loudly and beg for their ‘mammies’. Not to mention so many sexual innuendo’s and recreational drug references that you’ll begin to think that normal people speak that way come the end of the film.
If there’s one thing Michael Bay can do well though and that’s make a good-looking film. Transformers is honestly a gorgeously shot work of art at times, with some really interesting camera angles, some cool edits here and there, and a fantastic use of colour. Unfortunately, though these are also regularly showcased alongside really childish visual gags, a tendency for the editing to be very choppy and frantic during combat sequences, as well as often break general filmmaking rules when cutting between edits.
I always remember that the soundtrack works well for the film, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you what it sounds like. I also remember that Linkin Park do the end credits song and it’s a total banger; but really the visuals and dumb story tend to melt my brain so much whilst I’m watching them that I almost completely zone out of everything else other than the pretty colour and explosions whilst I’m watching them.
So, is Transformers good? Absolutely not! Is it worth watching? Not unless you like bad action films! Will I still watch it damn near every year? Absolutely! I can’t pin down why I like the Transformers films so much, maybe it’s just the sheer absurdity of it all, or it could be the interesting cinematography. Either way, they’re my guilty pleasure and I’m going to continue watching them for years to come.
If there’s one thing Michael Bay can do well though and that’s make a good-looking film. Transformers is honestly a gorgeously shot work of art at times, with some really interesting camera angles, some cool edits here and there, and a fantastic use of colour. Unfortunately, though these are also regularly showcased alongside really childish visual gags, a tendency for the editing to be very choppy and frantic during combat sequences, as well as often break general filmmaking rules when cutting between edits.
I always remember that the soundtrack works well for the film, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you what it sounds like. I also remember that Linkin Park do the end credits song and it’s a total banger; but really the visuals and dumb story tend to melt my brain so much whilst I’m watching them that I almost completely zone out of everything else other than the pretty colour and explosions whilst I’m watching them.
So, is Transformers good? Absolutely not! Is it worth watching? Not unless you like bad action films! Will I still watch it damn near every year? Absolutely! I can’t pin down why I like the Transformers films so much, maybe it’s just the sheer absurdity of it all, or it could be the interesting cinematography. Either way, they’re my guilty pleasure and I’m going to continue watching them for years to come.