365 Days: This Day
Year: 2022
Director: Barbara Bialowas & Tomasz Mandes
Starring: Magdalena Lamparska, Michele Moronne, Anna-Maria Sieklucka & Simone Susinna
Runtime: 110 mins
BBFC: 18
Published: 03/05/22
Director: Barbara Bialowas & Tomasz Mandes
Starring: Magdalena Lamparska, Michele Moronne, Anna-Maria Sieklucka & Simone Susinna
Runtime: 110 mins
BBFC: 18
Published: 03/05/22
Why did I do this to myself? I actually have the answer surprisingly, and it’s because I thought it would be funny, and you know what? It was god damn hysterical! Netflix’s 2020 erotic thriller 365 Days was so incredibly awful, but you know what I had a fun time slamming the film when I reviewed it two years ago. So, the moment I knew a sequel was on the way I knew I needed to see it. It’s like knowing that a car is going to drive straight into a wall and you simply can’t help but watch. But what really did surprise me though is how following the massive negative reaction to the original film, directors Barbara Bialowas and Tomasz Mandes had a genuine hold my beer moment whilst they made a sequel that exceeds expectations in all the wrong ways.
Some time after the events of the first film Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka) has somehow survived her assassination at the end of the first film and is now married to her kidnapper come lover Massimo (Michele Morrone). They spend all day and all night having wild sex, and can’t even seem to keep their hands to themselves at family events where there are children present (honestly, what the actual fuck?). One day Massimo decides he needs to get back to being a mafia crime boss and that makes Laura sad because she has nothing else to do except have sex with Massimo.
When she sees Massimo and another woman having sex at a party, Laura runs away with the gardener Nacho (Simone Susinna), and despite proclaiming her love for Massimo several times in front of Nacho, she decides to start having sex with Nacho and become his girlfriend. Meanwhile Massimo believes that a rival mafia family is responsible for Laura’s disappearance and so sits around looking moody rather than doing anything about it.
Some time after the events of the first film Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka) has somehow survived her assassination at the end of the first film and is now married to her kidnapper come lover Massimo (Michele Morrone). They spend all day and all night having wild sex, and can’t even seem to keep their hands to themselves at family events where there are children present (honestly, what the actual fuck?). One day Massimo decides he needs to get back to being a mafia crime boss and that makes Laura sad because she has nothing else to do except have sex with Massimo.
When she sees Massimo and another woman having sex at a party, Laura runs away with the gardener Nacho (Simone Susinna), and despite proclaiming her love for Massimo several times in front of Nacho, she decides to start having sex with Nacho and become his girlfriend. Meanwhile Massimo believes that a rival mafia family is responsible for Laura’s disappearance and so sits around looking moody rather than doing anything about it.
The plot to the original 365 Days was bad, but at least it was coherent. 365 Days: This Day makes absolutely no sense at all, with characters frequently making decisions or saying things that actively go against what they want. Laura is the perfect example of this, after running away with Nacho she explicitly states that she wants to go back to Massimo and sort things out once she has calmed down, but literally right after saying that she starts having sex with Nacho and in the next scene refers to herself as his girlfriend. I may well have just misunderstood a line of dialogue somewhere to see this as confusing, but the script, much like the original, was clearly written in Polish and just run through Google Translate for any dialogue that was to be spoken in English or Italian. It’s so painful to listen to, because almost every single line of dialogue uses the wrong words and makes no sense. I won’t spoil anything for those of you who do actually care about the story, but the ending manages to one up the previous film as well by ending without giving a clear explanation as to what’s just happened.
But of course, the draw of 365 Days is the sex scenes, right? I mean there was one good one I think, it wasn’t great, but it was easily the best one in either of the two films. The first sex scene happens around two minutes into the film, so it wants to get in there right away, and there’s considerably more sex in this film than the original, but the majority of it is just as awkwardly shot and obviously fake as in the original.
Speaking of awkwardly shot scenes, similarly to the first film whoever shot and edited this film doesn’t understand the basic principles of filmmaking. The vast majority of the film is set to trance music (basically what would get if you typed the word 'music' into Youtube and selected the first playlist you came across) but the editor never syncs the shots up to the beats in the music, so as a result it’s incredibly grating to watch to the point where it was actually starting to give me a bit of anxiety. I was also never able to work out what time of day it was, or where people were in relation to other characters. Like the time of day would change between shots within the same scene, and sometimes there are instances of two characters talking to each other, but they look like they’re in completely different locations. When the film was over, I felt like it was all just some intense fever dream where time and space were just entirely absent. Perhaps the entire film was fabricated in Laura’s mind in the seconds before she died at the end of the first film? That’s just my theory, that way all the stuff that makes no sense can be explained by being the last incoherent thoughts of her dying brain.
I loathed this film with every fibre of my being, but you know what, it’s already been confirmed that a third film is on the way and I’m absolutely going to put myself through it again. I sat through 365 Days: This Day laughing my ass off, and I think it would be a total blast when drunk. But for the sake of your own sanity I would never recommend subjecting yourself to it. How do films like this even get made?
But of course, the draw of 365 Days is the sex scenes, right? I mean there was one good one I think, it wasn’t great, but it was easily the best one in either of the two films. The first sex scene happens around two minutes into the film, so it wants to get in there right away, and there’s considerably more sex in this film than the original, but the majority of it is just as awkwardly shot and obviously fake as in the original.
Speaking of awkwardly shot scenes, similarly to the first film whoever shot and edited this film doesn’t understand the basic principles of filmmaking. The vast majority of the film is set to trance music (basically what would get if you typed the word 'music' into Youtube and selected the first playlist you came across) but the editor never syncs the shots up to the beats in the music, so as a result it’s incredibly grating to watch to the point where it was actually starting to give me a bit of anxiety. I was also never able to work out what time of day it was, or where people were in relation to other characters. Like the time of day would change between shots within the same scene, and sometimes there are instances of two characters talking to each other, but they look like they’re in completely different locations. When the film was over, I felt like it was all just some intense fever dream where time and space were just entirely absent. Perhaps the entire film was fabricated in Laura’s mind in the seconds before she died at the end of the first film? That’s just my theory, that way all the stuff that makes no sense can be explained by being the last incoherent thoughts of her dying brain.
I loathed this film with every fibre of my being, but you know what, it’s already been confirmed that a third film is on the way and I’m absolutely going to put myself through it again. I sat through 365 Days: This Day laughing my ass off, and I think it would be a total blast when drunk. But for the sake of your own sanity I would never recommend subjecting yourself to it. How do films like this even get made?